Author: Sabrina
2019 Switzerland – 2/2
瑞士的官方語言有四種 – 64% 德語 (口語是講瑞士德語, 書寫則用德語), 20% 法語, 6.5% 義大利語, 3.5% 羅曼語 (據說德國人一開始可能會聽不太懂瑞士德語, 但瑞士人聽得懂標準德語). 在瑞士待了快三週, 學了幾句常用的德語,
早安 | Good Morning | Guten Morgen [故疼 摩根]
謝謝 | Thank you | Danke [當肯]
拜拜 | Bye Bye | Tschüss [ㄑㄧㄩ ㄙ]
就是啊 | Exactly | Genau [跟熬]
瑞士有很多隧道 (而且多半很長), 目的在減少對當地城鎮交通的影響, 把不進城的車流直接走隧道分散掉, 也因為很多隧道, 所以對維護城鎮的景觀有很大的幫助, 很多電線也都地下化 (除了高壓線以外), 所以大片的美景卻很少見到電線桿或車流.
瑞士用很多圓環 (Roundabout)來代替美國常見的紅綠燈或STOP Signs, 我也覺得圓環比Stop Signs更好, 因為車子一直移動.
The Swiss franc (CHF) 瑞士法郎是瑞士的官方貨幣 (and in Liechtenstein). 瑞士法郎的紙幣很美麗, 五種幣值有不同的顏色和長度. 銅板有七個尺寸和幣值 (五塊, 二塊, 一塊, 50毛, 20毛, 10毛, 5毛). 瑞士周邊的國家, 德國法國意大利和奧地利, 則用歐元.
在瑞士消費, 銷售稅和小費多半內含 (跟美國相反), 而且普遍用現金交易居多, 即便上餐館吃一頓一, 二百塊. 有時候消費者在結帳時會告知對方取整數(Roundup)付費, 例如$27.58, 請對方以$28算, 藉此節省拿銅板的機會.
服務生腰帶上都會掛著一個很厚的大皮夾, 裡面全是各種幣值的鈔票和銅板, 當你告知要結帳, 如果刷卡, 他們把刷卡機帶到你面前, 如果付現, 他們就會拿出那個大皮夾, 當場找錢給你 (他們的心算比美國人好太多了).
在瑞士, 停車通常要付費 (Pay Station), 即便是去超市買菜或觀光園區景點內的停車場都一樣, 費用雖然不是很高 (一小時大概一塊到一塊半瑞士法郎), 但累積下來也是很可觀.
瑞士的超市以Migros和Coop二家為主, 到處都有他們的蹤跡. ALDI 和 LIDL (來自德國), SPAR (來自奧地利)則是新的競爭者 (前二家也開始進入美國市場) (Migros買下Denner).
Interlaken East 的這家Coop超市位在觀光客很多的地點, 所以很大, 有壽司, 煮熟的毛豆, 烤好的雞腿, 而且巧克力, 餅乾之類的伴手禮選擇很多, 也有一些綜合包裝的折扣.
上圖是冷藏櫃的照片, 另外還有已經包裝好的肉類在另外一區.
超市裡的Cheeses, Dried Meat, Sausages, Butter, Yogurt, Bread, 等等有許多不同口味的選擇, 有些肉類也是美國超市比較少見的, 例如兔肉, 鹿肉, 鴕鳥肉, 豬肝等等. 不過瑞士的紅肉價格很高, 即便是當地有飼養牛隻.
他們有新鮮的酵母菌 (上圖), 冷凍的派皮選擇很多, 麵包有很多選擇, 也有半成品可以買回家烤, 而且全麥或多穀類的麵包都很好吃. 奶油選擇很多, 而且超好吃, 即便從冷藏拿出來, 不用一會就夠軟化, 不像美國的奶油(即便有些號稱是歐洲奶油)都硬梆梆, 超難抹開的, 味道也比美國的濃郁.
上面這整排是優格的選擇
(甜點)
上面這整排是Cheeses的選擇 (右邊轉角還有, 但我的廣角鏡不夠廣, 哈哈哈)
上面這整排是各式各樣的冷凍派皮選擇 – 披薩麵皮, 甜點派皮或水果塔皮,
新鮮麵包區, 左邊還有半成品麵包, 讓你回家自己加熱/烤一下, 就有新鮮出爐的麵包可享用.
上面這整排是巧克力的選擇, 餅乾類的在另外一邊.
在瑞士超市買東西, 散裝的蔬菜水果要自己秤重貼好價格標籤, 每個散裝物都有號碼 (標籤左上角那個紅色的三位數字號碼), 然後機器右下角就會跑出價格標籤.
每個結帳櫃檯有一個板子, 將輸送帶分成二個, 等於給你多一點的時間裝袋, 但是結帳時不但要自己裝袋, 動作請快, 因為有些結帳員不是很有耐心等你.
Merz 是 Chur 當地的Bakery & Cafe, 有很多的麵包, 甜點可選. 這家在舊城區.
上圖是瑞士Graubnden’s specialty的甜點.
這家在交流道附近
瑞士到處都看得到可飲用的水池, 有的木造, 有的石造. 不能飲用的會有標示.
在Interlaken, 我們選擇在Airbnb待三晚, 我們住在Patrick’s Casa Barbara (Room South), Patrick年輕時去美國玩過, 英文說得很好, 這是他奶奶/外婆留下來的房子, 大概二百年, 當地傳統風格的建築. 我建議選擇Room South, 面對後院, 會比較安靜, 而且窗戶打開就看到美麗的山景.
這個房間的臥室和浴室中間有一個小小的空間可以掛外套和放鞋子, 隔二道門的好處是安靜. 浴室內有二條很薄的大毛巾, 一條地巾, 旅行型吹風機, 衛生紙, 一塊香皂, 一瓶沐浴乳; 臥室內有電熱水瓶, 二個陶瓷茶杯, 二個鐵茶匙, 幾包糖, 二個紅茶包, 一台電視, 衣櫃內有衣架, 網路 (可惜沒有冰箱).
對我來說, 唯二美中不足的是, 因為是木造的老房子, 所以走路會讓木頭地板茲茲響; 另外就是浴室有一個殘留的煙味. 瑞士現在規定餐廳內部不能抽煙, 但抽菸的瑞士人還是很多. 而房間內以前累積下來的煙味, 不是重新油漆粉刷就可以完全去除, 所以就算現在不讓房客在屋內抽菸, 那個浴室的煙味, 以我不抽煙的敏感鼻子來說, 還是很容易就嗅出來.
早餐新鮮簡單, 天氣好就在後院的花園吃, 天氣不好就在房間外面的餐桌吃.
看了幾篇台灣人寫的瑞士伴手禮介紹, 除了勞力士, 瑞士刀, 牛鈴以外, 幾個瑞士大牌子的巧克力其實美國都有賣, 而我覺得好吃的當地產品 – 奶油, Cheeses, ZOPF麵包, 粉紅柚子優酪果汁, Dried Meat, 新鮮酵母菌, Spätzli麵 (吁唄孜咧), 這些都不能帶回美國. (真空包裝的Cheeses也許可以??)
能帶的就是Kambly的餅乾, 口味選擇很多, 上面是綜合組的一種, 其他還有很多種類只有單賣. 在瑞士餐廳喝咖啡, 通常會在咖啡湯匙上附上一塊小點, 剛好都是Kambly的餅乾, 所以我吃過二種, 小蛋捲(Caprice),
我覺得這包餅乾也非常好吃, 我平常不太吃零嘴的, 但這包被我一口氣吃光, 可惜沒多買幾包.
瑞士人自己帶回美國吃的, 果然跟觀光客帶的不一樣.
瑞士在窗戶的防曬隔熱上，有幾種選擇，但都在窗戶外面，因為要將熱氣在碰到玻璃窗之前就阻絕。常見的百葉窗應該是鋁製, 有很多種顏色可以選.
這是另外二種
為了更好的隔絕效果 (Insulation), 很多傳統的建築在窗框和門框上都很深/寬/厚, 為了讓更多的光線進入，傳統的方式, 是把外窗的木牆或木框漆成白色, 將窗外的四面牆採45度角放射線方式。
這棟建築將傳統的窗戶做些現代的變化, 每扇窗像畫框.
在瑞士的餐廳吃飯感覺上似乎很貴, 但是美國的銷售稅和小費都是外含, 所以實際上算算, 瑞士跟美國的價格差不多. 我們的早餐和晚餐多半是去超市買食材, 回家做飯, 午餐因為都在外面玩, 所以都在外面吃, 但吃得簡單. 這一趟旅遊吃到最好的二餐 – 一是在 The Alpina Mountain Resort, 二是在 Äscher. 所以回美國後要來找食譜, 試做我在瑞士吃到的Barley Soup, Cheese Tart (有點像Quiche), Butter and Spätzli.
2019 Switzerland – 1/2
這是我 “第一次” 到瑞士玩三週的遊記 (第一次到瑞士是十幾年前從米蘭開車到瑞士的Lugano’s Fox Town Outlet購物, 那一次真的不能算有去過瑞士), 行程安排的隨性, 景點是瑞士人以當地人的角度安排, 所以去的多半不是知名的觀光景點, 而且是以一個只有二百多人的小村Tschiertschen為基地, 除了Interlaken在Airbnb待三晚, Brissago待一晚以外, 皆是可以當天開車往返. 雖然我待了三週, 卻感覺只玩了1/4的瑞士 (因為都待在德語區), 比起多數遊客, 我的玩法似乎有點奢侈. 這裡只是記錄我的所見所聞, 給自己未來回憶用的.
7/19 (Day 1): 下午到瑞士的蘇黎世機場, 然後開車到Tschiertschen (去而群), 它位在瑞士的東邊, 接近奧地利, 僅有二百多人的一個小村落, 地勢高度4,432 ft, 九成的人說德語, 五成以上的地是農業用.
Chur (庫爾) is the capital and largest town of the Swiss canton of Grisons (Graubünden), 也是瑞士最古老, 離Tschiertschen (去而群) 最近的一個城鎮, 二者之間的距離約12 km/二十五分鐘蜿蜒的車程.
7/20 (D2): Chur 週六上午8-12點有農夫市場, 有很多當地做的Cheeses, Dried Meat, Butter, Honey, Jam. 今早剛好遇到週六, 就去農夫市場逛逛, 順便調時差.
以下地圖標示我這三週去的各景點的大致方位, 多半在德語區, 只有一晚待在義語區.
7/21 (D3): Toboggan adventure mountain Pradaschier in Churwalden – 它長達3,060米(31個彎和480米的高度差)，從海拔1,750米的起點到山谷，行程持續7到10分鐘，達到40公里/小時的速度，是瑞士最長的滑道 。如果你事先定好公車票和Chairlift (纜車) + Toboggan Run (滑軌車)的票, 後者可以享有八折優惠.
然後開車去附近的Heidsee湖畔散步, 這個湖很大, 最後還可以走去附近的Lenzerheide度假小鎮, 有許多可愛的小店.
7/22 (D4): 今早搭巴士到Chur火車站附近的Merz Cafe吃早餐, 搭火車到Ilanz, 去走一條叫Rheinschlucht的Trail (Ilanz Train Station到Versam-Safien Train Station), Hiking 4 hours/12 miles, 再搭火車去Chur, 再搭巴士上Tschiertschen.
7/23 (D5): 今天過午才出門, 去Flims Caumasee, 當地人去的湖畔, 很大的湖, 要門票, 裡面有一間小餐廳供應簡單的食物, 飲料和冰淇淋, 有出租的獨木舟, 水上踏浪板, 水上腳踏車之類的.
7/24 (D6): 今天去Ebenalp坐纜車上山, 然後走一段路去看國家地理雜誌報導的一家延著山壁蓋的餐廳Äscher, 並在這裡享用一頓意外美味的午餐 (Homemade cheese tart with Appenzeller cheese, leek and onions, AND Creamy barley soup with dark bread, stripes of air-dried meat); 一個很特別的山洞, 然後去Appenzell, 一個很有趣的小鎮.
7/25 (D7): 今天去一個很像迷你太魯閣的地方叫Viamala Gorge,
然後去看一個很有特色的石頭教堂Steinkirche Cazis,
晚餐放肆一下, 走去鎮上一家高級飯店的餐廳 The Alpina Mountain Resort. 超推他們的Prefixed 3 Courses Dinner, 物超所值, 食物美味, 服務好, 景色佳.
Pike-perch(fish) with a parsley barley risotto and mountain sausage crust.
Braised beef shoulder with seasonal vegetables and ”Spätzle”(southern German pasta).
Alpine’s caramelized almond apple tart with malaga ice cream (make to order).
7/26 (D8): 今天哪裡都不想去, 只想悠閒地待在家裡打文章, 剛好天氣也不太好, 看到這麼大塊的雲, 就表示雷雨要來了.
7/27 (D9): 今天下雨, 所以選擇去位在Vals的 7132 Thermal Baths (不同溫度的冷溫泉), 由一位不是建築師的Peter Zumthor 所設計. 建築本身非常特別, 裡頭的有分好幾處不同溫度的冷泉和溫泉 (14C, 32C, 42C), 還有花瓣池, 音療池, 戶外水療池, 蒸氣室. 入場費也很高貴.
7/28 (D10): 今天一早就起霧和下雨, 很有水墨畫的味道. 下午前往Interlaken去, 在Airbnb待三晚. 今天是在瑞士的第十天, 終於忍不住去加油站的便利商店買杯麵當晚餐, 搭配優格, 麵包和Dried meat. 後來學到西方人吃泡麵的方式是把熱水倒掉後, 加一塊奶油拌勻變成義大利麵. 😛
7/29 (D11): 今天去Bellenberg Open Air Museum.
In 1978, the Swiss Open-Air Museum Ballenberg finally opened its doors and was presented to the public during a three-day celebration. After opening with 16 buildings, there were already 25 two years later and a total of 61 in 1985. Today, there are over 100 houses and other secondary buildings at Ballenberg. The basis for the academic concept of the Open-Air Museum Ballenberg was the work done by farmhouse researchers in Switzerland. It was fundamental in ensuring that there was a wide choice of the most important, typically characteristic forms of houses, farmsteads and settlements in this country.
The Swiss Open-Air Museum Ballenberg is not only an important cultural, research and tourist institution (although it does attract about 200,000 visitors from around the world every year), but with almost 200 workers at the museum during the season, from the middle of April until the end of October, the museum ranks as one of the most important employers in the area.
地圖按照地點分區, 每個地區有不同顏色和代號.
每一棟房子的門口有一個告示牌, 有四種語言 (D-德文, F-法文, I-義大利文, E-英文) 來做解說和介紹.
早期煙燻肉的方式.
製帽工作室
早期做麵包方式的示範
DIY 做奶油
瑞士的剪紙藝術
7/30 (D12): 今天從Interlaken坐Steamboat去Giessbach, 然後坐Cablecar上到Grandhotel, 享用一頓簡單的3-course Prefixed Lunch, 在大瀑布附近走一走, 最後往下走到要搭船回去Interlaken的地方. 我們沒有事先訂票, 到了窗口才詢問船票, 被事務員告知可以買三合一的票 (船票, 纜車, 午餐3-course prefixed), 這位事務員居然拿起電話幫我們打電話去給飯店預訂午餐位子 (服務也太好了).
沿途風景很美, 我們運氣不錯, 這趟旅途到目前為止, 天氣都很配合, 只有幾天遇到大雨.
The Giessbach funicular was the first railway in the world to have a passing loop in the middle of the route, which was built in 1879, is the oldest in Switzerland still in operation.
Grandhotel Giessbach was built in 1873/74 by French architect Horace Edouard Davinet for the Hauser family in Zurich. By the time war broke out in 1914, the Grandhotel Giessbach had become the meeting point for high society. The hotel closed its doors in 1979 after two world wars with years of decline. There were plans for demolishing the entire original complex and building a modern concrete building, in the style of a “jumbo style” chalet, in its place.
Luckily, in November 1983, internationally renowned Swiss ecologist Franz Weber succeeded in buying the 22-hectare Giessbach estate and placing it under protection. In 1984 he reopened the site with a new restaurant, the “Park Restaurant”, and a small number of unrenovated rooms. Renovations took place over seven stages each winter until the hotel’s structural level had been entirely renovated and the edifice once again took its place among the most beautiful and renowned buildings in Swiss hospitality.
Franz Weber died this year in April, was 91 years old.
The view from the Giessbach Falls. 我們吃完午餐後選擇一路慢走下山, 欣賞沿路景觀而沒有搭纜車.
7/31 (D13): 今天要從Interlaken回去Tschiertschen, 從Airbnb吃完早餐後, 先停Trümmelbach Falls. 一個超級大的瀑布, 隱藏在一座大山裡面, 從外面你完全看不見這個瀑布的壯觀啊.
我們搭隧道裡的纜車上山, 再走上到最高的地方看瀑布的最上端, 瀑布水溫大概攝氏2度 (冰冷), 最好穿防水擋風的外套, 止滑的鞋子, 因為夏天的瀑布水量很大, 靠近看很容易被噴濕.
All the Trümmelbach Falls, except the lowest, were invisible to human eyes, and unapproachable, from the last Ice Age about 15’000 years ago until they were first rendered accessible in 1877. They were hidden inside the mountain, which is why the name “Trümmelbach” does not convey a visual impression, as is the rule with waterfalls, but an acoustic one. “Trümmelbach” comes from “Trommelbach” meaning a stream that sounds like a drum.
The amount of water in the falls varies greatly. From December to March there is just a little stream trickling down under thick sheets of ice. After frosty nights in April and October the flow of water measures only a few dozen liters a second. But between April and June, when the snow melts, and between June and September, when the glacier ice melts, as well as after heavy rain and thunderstorms, as much as 20’000 liters a second may come thundering through the rocky defile. The little stream becomes a mighty river.
從Interlaken回去Tschiertschen的路程, 我們選擇景色美, 但較耗時的路段, 地圖看起來似乎比較直接, 但實際上因為是彎彎曲曲, 上上下下的山路, 所以實際上的時間比較長.
上圖的左上角還看得到還沒融化的雪和冰河, 已經融化的形成一個很大的湖, 這個景色是在Hwy 11上面, 算是這個三個半小時的路程上最高的地方.
8/1 (D14): 今天是瑞士的國慶日, 幾天前就在超市看到各種慶祝趴的裝飾品和鞭炮, 許多城鎮也開始大量設置瑞士十字國旗. 今天很多地方都有慶祝活動。
Tschiertschen這個小村落每年的傳統，就是左鄰右舍會搭滑雪纜車上去吃早餐，親朋好友中午或晚上聚餐烤肉，然後放鞭炮！
8/2 (D15): 今天很隨意, 因為天氣不太穩定, 所以就趁天氣好去散散步, 天氣不好就待在家裡上網.
8/3 (D16): 今天去Chur另外一個Merz Cafe吃早餐, 這家很大, 有Drive-Through窗口, 有很大的市內和室外座位區, 有麵包製作區. 然後去The Grisons Museum of Fine Art in Chur, 最後去Coop超市買東西.
8/4 (D17): 今天去位在瑞士意大利區Ticino’s Locarno, 這裡很有加州的感覺 (棕梠樹, 無花果樹, 檸檬樹, 橄欖樹, 氣候很熱). 從德語區開車進入意大利區, 馬上就看到交流道的出口告示牌從德語變義大利語. 坐纜車上去, 在走下來看Sacro Monte Madonna Del Sasso教堂.
然後在Brissago待一晚, 享受Lago Maggiore的湖景 (Brissago距離義大利邊界大概車程十分鐘).
8/5 (D18): 中午過後離開Brissago, 停Castelgrande城堡逛一下 (很有萬里長城的感覺), 看著城堡吃Gelato, 然後回Tschiertschen.
8/6 (D19): 一早前往蘇黎世機場, 搭機回舊金山.
Sound Bath
南灣做團體頌缽音療的地方不是很多, 但需求似乎不小, 不想去舊金山的人很多, 所以週日我在中醫診所的大廳所做的團體頌缽音療來了17位 (四位亞裔), 還有14位在候補名單上.
我在Avenidas Village Palo Alto的首次團體頌缽音療, 也有13位銀髮族參加. 每個人事後都稱讚有加!!! 我喜歡這個場地, 可以容納起碼20-30個人. 後來Avenidas的Program Director跟我聯絡, 我們決定從八月開始到十一月的第二個週一 (8/12, 9/9, 10/14, 11/11)下午3:00-4:00固定辦一場團體頌缽音療, 然後看看反應如何, 再決定明年的課程表.
我跟Los Altos的Breathe Holistic Health的中醫師Liat Hod配合的團體頌缽音療與中醫Workshop, 也來了七位 (如果人更多, 就得擠一擠了).
看著大家呼呼大睡, 我也很希望我是躺在那裡的人啊!!! 每個人都好放鬆啊, 應該對週一上班有比較愉快的心情吧!!!
八九月的團體頌缽音療日期已經放在Six Senses Healing的首頁上了.
另外在世界日報有登廣告 (上圖), 所以有特別安排二場是給華人朋友的 (8/11 & 25的2:30-3:30), 有特別的優惠價格, 名額有限, 報名要快喔!
若你有合適的場地, 歡迎推薦喔!!!
[前世今生] 被遺棄, 不被愛, 居無定所的漂泊, 背後的原因終於找到了
(中文版在下面)
I started learning Hypnotherapy in 2018. Since then, I have completed three 10-weeks long courses plus one 4-weeks course, and we did quite a few group past life regression sessions but not even once was I able to be in one of the past life. I know my subconscious didn’t want me to see just yet because I wasn’t ready, and I can sense whatever was there aren’t pleasant or maybe painful.
Since the divorce was finalized in 2015, I was so depressed after the reality hits me, and for a few years I don’t know who I was and I was very lost. I always have issues with abandonment, not feeling loved, always drifting, and don’t know where is home. The home I built with my ex-husband was the first time I can call a place home and felt like my home.
Virna Low is the creator of Joyfull Being. She is very intuitive and integrates aromatherapy, bodywork, and energy healing to serve her clients with their issues. I have been working with her since early this year to help me resolve and improve. The day before 4th July, I did a session with Virna, and I wanted to focus on feeling more secure, confident and at ease no matter what happens around me but what it ended up finding was totally out of my surprise.
She started by using different essential oils on my feet and on my neck and back with a light massage. She kept getting knots on some part of my shoulder and she starts talking to herself (did I said she is very intuitive!!! I mean she can channel with higher being for guidance). She said to me that my arm feels like a robot clicks on, can’t be relaxed. I said it might be because my bag was heavy. She said, No, it’s more like you always need to DO something, and this DO something is preventing you from moving forward. I said, Yes, I feel uneasy if I have nothing to do and I want to keep myself busy. However, I also feel pressure when I am too busy. Then she is like the light bulb got turned on and said, that’s it. You can’t just BE, just be yourself, with yourself, you need to DO something so you don’t have to be with yourself. All of sudden, I said Yes, I feel guilty if I am not busy doing something related to work, related to making money. I forgot what she asked me for me to said that I felt that I am not wanted, I don’t belong and I don’t know where is my home.
Then she asks me to ask my high self take me to the beginning when I felt I am not wanted. I know what I said at first were all in this lifetime, circling, back and forth (Virna told me afterward that she was thinking we might need to do this again in other time because she felt my resistant but her higher self told her to be patient). We stuck for a little while and then she said she saw a little girl crying. Then she repeats again, asks my higher self take me back to the beginning of the time when I felt I am not wanted. I became quiet for a while. All of sudden, I said I am in a very dark place and I can’t see anything (she said afterward that she know we are in the right place). She then guided me by asking, can you light it up by using candles or flashlight? I said, flashlight only see my own hands but nothing else.
She started to help me dig deeper. I don’t know which life it was but the first thing came out of my mouth was “I was the only survivor”. I saw myself standing in a burned down house by myself. I was 2 years old. Virna wanted me to go back to the time before the house got burned down and ask what did I see. I said I saw my grandparents, my parents, and my older sister. I was playing outside the house and I saw other neighbors started screaming and running. Virna asked me, do I know what happened? I said, my dad owes people a lot of money so he set the house on fire so no one needs to deal with the money problem but he didn’t know I wasn’t in the room napping like my older sister was. My dad said he was very sorry to left me behind. Virna asks me, how do I feel when my dad said that. I said, I rather die with them, not be abandon. Virna asks me, where did I go after the fire? Did I grow up? I said I saw an Orphanage and a family. I was married but no kids. My husband is acholic, and I saw myself in two different death themes – one is I hang myself, and the other one is I drowned (Virna said drowned was in a different life).
Virna wants me to go back to where I was ready to reincarnation. She wants me to ask myself why did I choose to go through life like that. What was the reason or what were the lessons I want to learn? I said Nothing is real. Virna asks, what do you mean? The pain wasn’t real? or what is not real? I said Life is like a computer game. Nothing is real. I can’t control what might happen but I have choices on how to deal or handle when something has happened. In the end, Virna uses a golden healing light to heal my wound, want me to remember the reason for that life and the lesson I learned from that life, and bring me back to the room.
When I open my eyes, I still can’t believe what I was telling her. Now I know why I have trouble to do past life regression before because it was too painful and I wasn’t ready to face it. Now I also know why I always don’t felt loved, wanted, not belong anywhere, always want to have a home but drifting from place to place. When I looked at the clock on the wall, I can’t believe it’s been 2.5 hours because I didn’t felt that long. I told Virna, it’s 4th July tomorrow and I am going to hiking, bring a book to a coffee shop and just enjoy the time by myself.
It’s been 10 days after that session (I also got sick for 10 days) and I started noticing some subtle changes inside me. I felt much at ease without DOING anything. I felt much calmer whether I am busy or I have nothing to do. The feeling of not wanted, not loved, wanting to belong somewhere, or feeling drift is slowly fade away. I begin to feel that I know who I am, I know I am worthy, and I know I will love myself and I know I can handle whatever happens in life. I know I will be fine.
我是去年開始學催眠, 我已經完成了三堂十週和一堂四周的課程. 這在一年多來, 我們做了好幾次團體的追朔前世的練習, 但我總是無法進入, 我知道我的潛意識還沒準備好讓我看到, 因為我有感覺那是個很痛苦的經歷.
自從2015年的離婚確定後, 生活有很大的轉變, 這個認知終於打趴我, 憂鬱症終於發生, 那幾年我不知道我是誰, 我不知道為何活著. 從小到大我總是覺得不被愛, 不被需要, 不斷的漂浮, 不知道家在哪裡. 我和前夫所建立的家, 是我第一次有歸屬感, 有一個地方我可以稱為家.
Virna Low (劉煊儀) 是一位直覺靈感很通的人, 她結合芳療, 按摩, 和能量一起來為客人解決他們的問題. 我從今年初開始和她做了幾個療程, 慢慢清理我內心深處的問題. 今年國慶日前一天我和她又做了一個療程, 這次的主題原本是安全感, 自信和自在, 但最後得到的結果卻出乎我意料之外.
她一開始先用幾款精油幫我擦腳底和按摩肩背, 然後他不斷按到一些打結的地方, 然後她開始自問自答, 她說你的手臂好像是機器人的手臂被扣在肩上, 一直無法放鬆, 我說右肩是因為背包包吧, 她說不是, 然後她說你好像要一直Do something, 而這個Do something就是一直阻礙你往前進步的原因. 我突然說, 對, 我不忙就會很不安, 我會想讓自己一直忙, 但是很忙的時候我也感到壓力. 然後她突然有賓果的感覺, 她說對, 就這個, 你無法自在的當你自己, 跟你自己相處, 你必須要做點什麼, 這樣你就不用跟你自己相處. 我說對, 因為我如果不忙, 我覺得我有罪惡感, 沒在為賺錢的事努力. 我忘了後來她是怎樣讓我說出我覺得自己不被需要, 我不屬於任何地方, 我不知道家在哪裡.
然後她說, 那讓你的高我, 你的潛意識帶你回到你覺得You are not wanted的起始點, 我知道我一開始說的都一直停留在這一世 (Virna事後告訴我, 她本來想說如果我一直抗拒而進不去, 可能要再擇期再試, 但她的高我一直叫她要有耐心), 一直到後來, Virna突然說她看到一個小女孩在哭, 然後她又重複的說, 讓你的高我, 你的潛意識帶你回到你最初感到You are not wanted的起始點, 我知道我安靜了一段時間, 沒想到, 我突然說我看到很黑的地方, 我什麼都看不見 (Virna事後告訴我, 這時她就知道來到對的地方了). 後來她引領我說, 那用蠟燭或手電筒有幫助嗎? 我說手電筒只看到我自己的手, 沒看到其他的東西.
當她開始往更深一層的挖掘, 居然帶我回到不知道哪一世的我, 先看到我站在一間燒掉的房子, 然後我說我是唯一的生存者, Virna要我把時間再往前看, 我看到二歲的我在家裡外面玩耍, 突然聽到很多大人的尖叫, 但我不懂發生什麼事, Virna要我把時間再往前看, 我看到祖父母, 父母和姐姐. 後來Virna問我知道怎麼發生火災的嗎? 我說我爸爸因為欠人很多錢, 怕我們大家吃苦, 所以故意放火把一家人都燒死, 卻沒想到我沒跟姊姊一樣, 乖乖在房裡睡午覺, 爸爸說他對我很抱歉, 讓我一個人留下來. 後來Virna問我, 爸爸對我那樣說後有什麼感覺? 我說我寧願跟他們一起死了, 而不是被遺棄. Virna問我後來到哪裡去了? 有長大成人嗎? 我說我看到孤兒院和一戶家庭, 我後來有結婚但沒小孩, 丈夫愛喝酒, 後來我看到我自己二個死亡的情景, 一個是上吊, 一個是溺死 (Virna事後告訴我, 她看到我溺死是在別世).
Virna要我時間再往前, 到我要投胎之前, 問我為什麼要選擇這麼痛苦的經驗, 我從中想得到什麼結果? 我說, 沒有一樣是真的. Virna反問我說, 你的意思是指那些痛不是真的? 還是什麼? 我說, 人生就像一場電腦遊戲, 沒有一樣是真的. 我無法控制人生當中會發生什麼, 但是我可以選擇要如何面對和處理鎖發生的事情. 然後她用金黃色的光來療癒我的傷口, 要我記得我當初想學的人生經歷是我無法控制會發生什麼事, 但我對於如何處理是有選擇的, 然後讓我回來.
當我回到當下, 我還是不敢相信我告訴Virna有關那一世所發生的事, 不過我現在終於知道, 為什麼在催眠學校上課時, 每次要做前世追朔, 我都進不去或者不想進去, 因為太痛了. 也終於知道, 為什麼我一直感到不被愛, 不知道自己屬於哪裡, 一直在漂泊, 很想要一個家, 但似乎一直得不到等等的原因了. 看了時鐘, 發現這個療程做了二個半小時, 我卻不覺得有那麼久啊. 後來我跟Virna說, 明天國慶日, 我打算自己去Hiking, 然後帶本書, 去家咖啡店, 坐著好好享受一個人的時間.
距離那個療程已經十天了 (同時我也病了十天), 我開始感覺內心一些微妙的改變, 我對於無所事事感到自在多了, 不論我很忙或者不忙都可以很冷靜自在, 那個感到不被愛, 不被需要, 不知道自己屬於哪裡, 或是漂泊的感覺慢慢的消失. 相反的, 我開始感覺到我知道我自己是誰, 我知道我是值得的, 我知道我會好好愛自己, 而且不論未來發生什麼事, 我都有能力可以面對處理. 我知道我會沒事的.
